Chocolate Heart
by Rockinmuffin
Summary: Mokuba has always thought of Valentine's Day as nothing more than a stupid holiday that gave girls an excuse to act even dumber than normal. What's so great about some stupid girl anyway? A somewhat fluffy MokubaxOC oneshot.


You know what I realized? There aren't nearly enough stories out there with Mokuba as the main character.

This is my pathetic attempt at a fluffy Valentine's one-shot, though it's really not all that fluffy. At first, I intended for the story to revolve around Ryou, but then I realized that there are already more than enough stories out there that revolve around him. I love Ryou to tears, truly I do, but I think Mokuba deserves this… honor… a little more. Besides, it's fun to watch little kids deal with romance. They're such dorks. XD

Also, if you have a loathing or bias for self-insert fics then I suggest you don't read this. I don't want to be flamed just because a person was dumb enough to waste their time reading a story they knew they would hate in the first place. If you're gonna flame, then flame for OOCness, spelling and grammar mistakes, if my "OC" is a Mary Sue, or just for the fact that I have a stupid plot. Seriously, if you read a self-insert story even though you know you hate them and then flame it for being a self-insert story then that's like ordering a steak at a restaurant and complaining when the food arrives because you're a vegetarian. :P

**Disclaimer:** I don't Yu-Gi-Oh, but I _do_ own a pair of disco pants. They're from the 70's. …DO THE HUSTLE! XD Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo!

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**Chocolate Heart**

Today is the most evil day of the year. Today is the one day of the year when girls use chocolates and other sweets to bribe their ways into some poor, foolish boy's heart. Today is the day when hearts are broken and souls are shattered.

Today is Valentine's Day.

I sighed to myself as I looked out the window of my sixth grade classroom. My teacher, Takei-Sensei, was rambling on and on about Valentine's Day. Pfft! As if I don't have more important things to do with my life. Like throw up.

I don't see why people make such a big deal out of this whole thing. Everyone knows that Valentine's Day is just a commercialistic holiday thought up by the evil Hallmark Company as a way for them to make more money then they already have. And people have the audacity to call my brother a greedy, money-grubbing bastard.

Of course, the Hallmark Company is the very least of my worries.

The loud, not to mention annoying, sound of a bell rang throughout the school, signaling that it was time for lunch. Everyone quickly got up from their seats and rushed out of the classroom as if their lives depended on it. I was no exception, though I'm sure that my excuse was different from theirs. The faster I ran, the less chance I had of being ambushed by some crazy girl that thought I was cute along the way.

It's not my fault that I'm ridiculously good-looking.

I arrived at the cafeteria lunch line and grabbed what the school considers a well-balanced meal-- which was really nothing more than a mealy apple, a pizza that tasted as if it were made from cardboard, and a carton of chocolate milk-- and I did my best to ignore the large mole on the lunch lady's chin. I quickly found a seat with a few other boys; I didn't even bother trying to strike up a conversation with them since they were too busy obsessing over the fact that they hadn't received a single chocolate from any of the girls.

What's so great about chocolate's from a _girl_ anyway?

Heck, what's so great about _girls_?

Then I heard the most peculiar thing. It was faint, but I could've sworn I heard the sound of someone singing. It seemed to get louder and louder, as if the source of the noise was heading towards the cafeteria. Within seconds, the voice was close enough so that I could hear it, though I suddenly wished that I couldn't; the voice was horribly off key and the pitch seemed to be so high that it squeaked. Not to mention that the song I heard was completely idiotic.

A girl, one that I couldn't recognize, sang to the tune of _It's a Small World_ from that stupid boat ride at Disney Land:

_It's a perfect world, it's a perfect place,_

_Everybody has chocolate shoved in their face!_

_Chocolate here, chocolate there,_

_Chocolate is everywhere!_

_Go ahead and eat it all!_

As she sang, she threw little chocolate kisses behind her like a flower girl threw petals at a wedding. Several of the boys didn't hesitate to rush to the floor and fight over the chocolate.

I stared at the singing girl and gave her an odd look. It was obvious that the girl wasn't from our school; she was much too old for that. She had to be at least thirteen years old, if not more. Also, it was obvious that the girl wasn't from around here; her hair was brown, her skin was tan, and, not that it had anything to do with her being foreign, but she had a stupid look on her face.

Then again, _all_ girls _always _have a stupid look on their faces.

The girl slowly turned her head towards me and the corners of her mouth instantly curled into a smirk as a malicious glint sparkled in her chocolate brown eyes that lay behind her glasses. She strode towards me, evil intentions clearly shown through her chocolate orbs.

She sat down next to me and smiled, successfully hiding the sinister look that had just graced her features only seconds before. "You're Mokuba Kaiba, Seto Kaiba's brother, right?"

"Yeah…" I answered slowly. I didn't know what to expect from this girl nor did I have any idea what she wanted.

Her smile widened significantly. "Good, because I have something here just for you!" she declared as she started digging through the giant backpack slung over her shoulder.

I merely raised an eyebrow. What is this girl talking about? Why would she have something for me? I don't even know who she is! Is she some kind of stalker? Is she friends with my brother? …No, my brother would never befriend someone like her. She's just too… weird.

"Here ya go!" she shouted cheerily as she held a giant chocolate heart in front of my face. I could feel the school's entire male population glaring daggers in my back as they seethed in jealousy. I don't see what they're so jealous about. I'd rather be in their shoes; I'd rather not have some idiot girl, whom I don't even know, give me some stupid chocolate.

I glared at the chocolate, hoping that if I stared at it long enough then it would just disappear into thin air. Much to my dismay, it didn't.

"Well," the girl started, looking at me expectantly, "Aren't you gonna eat it?" I merely gave the piece of chocolate a suspicious glance. "Don't look so worried; I made it myself!" she said as she smiled and pushed the chocolate heart closer to me.

"That's what worries me" I mumbled as I pushed the chocolate away. "Look, girl, I don't know who you are, nor do I care. Now I suggest you leave my sight before the men in white come to take you back to the _Happy Hotel_."

The girl gave me a bored look. "You know, for an eleven-year-old, you sure are cynical. You've been spending _way_ too much time with your brother" she stated as she tapped her fingernails on the tabletop. "Just eat the chocolate" she told, no, _commanded_ me as she pushed it towards me.

I glared at her. "I don't care what you say or what you do; there's absolutely no way you're going to get me to eat that chocolate. It's a stupid tradition of a stupid holiday and you're stupid for celebrating it. Now go bother someone else," I told her, waving her away with my hand. "You annoy me."

"Look, _kid_, I'm trying to do a good deed here and make you have a happy Valentine's Day and I'm going to do it whether you like it or not. Now you either eat the chocolate or I'll shove it so far up your little bratty butt that you can taste it!" she declared with gritted teeth as she glared at me.

I raised an eyebrow. "Is that a threat?"

"No, it's a promise. Now eat the chocolate or I'll be obligated to fulfill that promise."

You see, this is another reason why I hate girls; they're moody. Just minutes before she was smiling and singing like a moron as if she hadn't a care in the world and now she was glaring and threatening to put chocolate in an orifice that was not meant to store chocolate in it. And I _still_ don't know who she is.

"I'm not afraid of you" I told her with my lips curling into a smug grin. "I know several different forms of martial arts and I've been taught by some of the greatest instructors in the country. I'd like to see you even _try_ to hurt me."

She rolled her eyes. "Pfffft! What, and you expect _me_ to be afraid of _you_? As if! You might know martial arts but I have a good ten inches on you, you little punk! NOW EAT THE FREAKING CHOCOLATE!" Everyone in the cafeteria turned towards us at her outburst. I could feel the temperature rise in my face from embarrassment, but she didn't seem to mind the attention. She was too busy glaring at me as the right side of her face twitched

"You idiot woman, I'm not going to eat the chocolate."

"You will too because I'll _make_ you eat it and you'll _enjoy_ it."

"Will not."

"Will too."

"Will not."

"Will too."

"Will not."

"Will too."

"Will not."

"Will too, times infinity!" she shouted as she crossed her arms and gave me a smug look.

"Yeah, real mature" I stated sarcastically as I rolled my eyes. She merely stuck her tongue out in response. "Why are you so set on getting me to eat the chocolate anyway? Is it poisoned or something? That's it, isn't it? Someone sent you here to kill me."

She widened her eyes and put on an offended look. "_Me_? _Kill_ you? Do I look like someone that would commit murder?" I glared at her. "All right, don't answer that. But still, what gave you the idea that I want to kill you? Just because I want you to eat my chocolate doesn't mean that it's tainted. You're way too paranoid for a kid your age. I just want you to try the chocolate so you can tell your jerky brother how good it is. I tried to give him some earlier today but he wouldn't accept it. He said he thought I laced it with drugs or something."

My eyes widened somewhat and I raised my eyebrows as I looked at her. "Let me get this straight… You tried to give my brother Seto some chocolate and when he wouldn't accept it you went through all the trouble to go to the elementary school, track me down, and try to force me to eat your chocolate just so you could get me to tell my brother how good it was so he'd regret that he hadn't accepted it in the first place?"

"Uh… Yup! That about sums it up!" she declared with a cheeky grin.

"What the heck is wrong with you!" I shouted at her, me eyes widening. "It sounds to me as if you're _stalking_ my brother! You're a sick person and they should lock you up and throw away the key!"

She looked at me for a moment, staring at me with narrowed eyes. And then… she did something I didn't expect her to do:

She laughed.

It started out as a low chuckle, then it quickly escalated into a loud, squeaky giggle. Her eyes closed completely and her face flushed a bright pink color as her giggling got out of control and she nearly fell on the floor as her giggling fit broke out into hysterics.

After a minute or so she was able to calm down and collect herself. She then stared back at me with a huge smile on her face.

Stupid, moody woman.

"Ya know, Mokuba, for a spoiled snot-nosed brat, you're not so bad." Although I know I probably should've been offended by the comment, I couldn't help but crack a smile when she grinned at me. Sure, this girl was insane and strange beyond reason, but she had a way of making my mood change as quick as hers.

I guess, for a stupid girl, she wasn't all _that_ bad.

She stood up from her seat and looked down at me, the smile still shining on her face. "I hope to see you again sometime, Moku-kun. I gotta go back to the high school now before my teacher realizes I'm not in the bathroom. See ya!" She skipped away until she was out of sight.

I looked down at the chocolate heart that lay innocently on the table before me and that's when I realized I never got her name, not that it mattered.

After all, she was just a stupid girl.

I continued to stare down at the chocolate heart and, throwing caution to the wind, I picked it up and held it to my lips. I hesitantly took a bite out of it and chewed it thoughtfully as I savored the taste.

It was a lot sweeter than I thought it would be.

**End

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I know, that was so lame but I just couldn't resist. I always wanted to write something like this. Besides, it was about time I wrote something that was more than just dumb comedy.

And don't ask me why I made Mokuba so cynical. O.o It just kind of came to me as I was writing. I figured that since Mokuba idolized his brother so much that some of Seto's attitude would rub off on him.

Please, review and tell me what you liked and what I need to improve on.


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